SteaKnight: Eighteenth Knight, 12.13.2007

HEB started off the email discussion for a December Low End by stating that going forward December (due to the holidays) will be the only month in which SteaKnight will be switched from the traditional third Thursday to the second Thursday. He then posited three suggestions for locations...Outback, Sizzler and the Red Lobster. Each location had its drawbacks. Outback is in Daly City. Despite HEB's pleas Sizzler suffers a double setback. It is located in Daly City and, well, it is Sizzler. Red Lobster is in San Bruno. It was clear that the Knights might be heading out of the city of San Francisco for the first time in their quest for steak.

Three conclusions were reached after the opening salvo. The first is that leaving the city of San Francisco was somewhat unpopular. Second, a surprisingly large number of Knights were willing to visit the Palace Family Steakhouse for the third time. Finally, MPH would need a ride if the Knights decided to go forward with plans outside San Francisco.

As frustration mounted, HEB, citing the fact that the Knights had just been there in August, administered a thundering veto to the cries for the Palace and went back to the drawing board with some new options.

1. Mario's Steak and Chophouse

2. The White Horse Restaurant and Tavern

3. Outback

A second volley of emails erupted and as the dust settled a few items were determined.

• Mario's Steak and Chophouse had terrible reviews on MP's much shilled yelp.com website...though the idea of staying in the city was attractive to some Knights.
• The White Horse was a popular option with many Knights. RMD, though he wasn't attending due to a mustache cultivating fundraiser he was attending, registered his opinion that the White Horse Restaurant and Tavern should never be considered because there is not one mention of steak on their menu (though ATG proved that they do offer a filet).
• The Palace proved to still be popular with the hoi polloi as a write in candidate despite HEB's strong rebuke during the previous exchange.
• MPH would need a ride if the Knights decided on Outback

In the end, HEB's typically consensus-building nature as president of SteaKnight was belied by a stern dictatorial decision that pointed the SteaKnight compass toward Outback! MPH would need a ride.

Your hard-working correspondent arrived a spot late to the dinner but by that time one Blooming Onion was already done in and another was on the way. Hearty beers were served to those in need and the revelry began.

• MPH paid for kickball season but hasn't gone while MP has met a lady through kickball
• SteaKnight will be amazingly boring when we are all married
• MP is allergic to any tree that give off airborne particulates, which, unfortunately, Christmas trees do. Once again, this surprised precisely no one
• HEB claims that a blumpkin is neurologically impossible but many contested this fact not based on experience but rather principle
• The succession plan for HEB's pending departure from the city of San Francisco was discussed. Who will take the reigns of this noble organization and best serve the rich tradition that has been established? The names of RMD and Turbo were suggested but many predicted the former would be too bossy and the latter's horns might get in the way.
• MPH had a twisted tale about a subleaser that is winding its way through the judicial system. The question was asked and, no, it's not possible to blow someone to get out of the situation.
• As talk of the next SteaKnight began, HEB, in a dramatic departure from his usual approach, forefully told everyone that the next Steak Knight would be a Brazilian steak house located in the city. With a mild amount of pressure he rescinded the bold statement but the Brazilian place is still ranking high with the Knights as the next site. At this moment the Knights agreed it would be appropriate if all of our signifcant others got Brazilian waxes on Brazilian night.
• It was unanimous that FH and MPH have the best skin of all the Knights.
• Can girls get electrolysis for hairy breasts? Either no one knew or no one was talking.
• ATM mentioned how catchy the theme song for Outback is on the radio
• The Knights fell is deep love with the round table. It enabled all Knights to converse with each other and didn't create sub conversations the way the rectangular table does. The Knights should strive for round tables wherever possible.
• JB told a harrowing tale of getting cock-blocked by a 20 year old in Beijing as he tried to work his charms on some locals
• 4/9 of the Knights in attendance thought that a post-ejaculate pee was very, very pleasurable. The others either disagreed or hadn't ejaculated yet.
• HEB posited that Sprinkler Dick sucks
• ATM saw 500 Santas screaming, yelling and drunk in the streets of San Francisco recently
• It was generally agreed on that any unforeseen financial windfalls in a Knight's personal life should be contributed to the funding of Low End nights. JB was in particular agreement on this subject, stating that if he had a check for $12 million USD he would treat to Low End. Surely the Knights will hold him to his word.
• MP doesn't like facial hair because it itches

Upon conclusion of the dinner, the Knights agreed that the first Daly City SteaKnight was a rousing success but that everyone thoroughly hates Daly City.

Total Bill: $365.80

HEB (seventeenth Knight)

STB (sixteenth Knight)

ATG (sixteenth Knight)
Turbo (fifteenth Knight)
MPH (fourteenth Knight)

JB (thirteenth Knight)

ATM (tenth Knight)
FH (seventh Knight)

MP (sixth Knight)