SteaKnight: Seventh Night, 1.18.2007

The lads found themselves at yet another high end establishment for the month of January and what a high end it was. The vanguard party enjoyed an after work drink at the bar while waiting for the rest of the group to arrive. Once the party was seated the conversation broke down into smaller pods of conversation that yours truly, as the hard working correspondent, had trouble assessing. Still, while attempting to stay on top of the wide ranging conversation, the main threads that developed were captured.

As is tradition, the next SteaKnight location was the first topic of conversation. While never exactly reaching a conclusion, it always proves to be a fun topic to toss about, disqualifying certain steakhouses based on such harsh criteria such as their sign not mentioning "steak" while welcoming others for, at times, equally notable minutiae. One must understand that this is a rather new group with an evolving tradition that is still being defined, much like those beginning stages of an igneous rock formed millennia ago in the fire belly of the earth. It is not entirely unlike those days during the forming of our fledgling American democracy those centuries ago where hotheads and firebrands wielded their ideas passionately as if the very future of the earth hung in the balance of their words. After the monthly inconculsion concerning the next SteaKnight location was reached, the conversation moved onward.

At this time RMD gave a play by play breakdown of the recent Tostitos Bowl overtime Boise St. win over Oklahoma, which sounded like a truly exciting affair. For their effort Boise St. finished their season undefeated and netted a 5th place finish in the final rankings. The Ohio State Buckeyes, of which yours truly is a loyal supporter, merited a discussion but didn't fare as well in their title game. Yet they still finished the season with a second place finish and a Heisman. This puts them in a three way tie for most Heisman winners by team. While some chose to denigrate your correspondent, his fury was fierce and he has recollected his diatribe here.

The conversation moved on, naturally, to the subject of abdominal prenancy. It's still unclear exactly what this is to those of the Knights without a background in the ways of medicine but, nonetheless, it is truly a gruesome occurrence to ponder.

The Knights then moved on from the world of medicine to ordering their steaks. Most noticed that the waitress named D---- was quite attractive. After the order was taken, the discussion concerned her possible availability for those of the Knights with single status.

The fact that ATM had spurned the Knights for another secret society which were assumed to be the Knights of Malta weighed heavily on the evening. Granted, the SteaKnights are still a fledgling society but the second class status was nonetheless painful for the Knights in attendance. FB was not in attendance since he was going to be on Chinese TV that evening...a reason that most Knights found much more palatable. Shortly after this ATG revealed to the Knights that he is a notary public but "doesn't really know how to do it". We are, for the most part, pleased with our brethren.

The food soon arrived and there was great confusion as to the contents of the meal from yours truly. Were those land scallops or man scallops (read testes) atop the salmon? It ended up being a truly delightful meal of perfectly broiled wild salmon covered in baby scallops but your humble correspondent may never live down the fact that he doesn't consume the cow.

While the Knights enjoyed their meals the topic of the the finer sex (as it often does) came to the forefront. Particularly interesting to the Knights on this evening was the subject of women who appear wondrous in certain settings yet terrible in others. It often seems to hinge on the time of day, at which time a Knight put forth the theory of day variance. Another posited the theory of the Darryl Hannah complex. Our loyal readers will be left to determine which is more accurate.

Both JB and JLM showed up sporting new facial hair styles. JLM had shaved his goatee and was going "clean" while JB was sporting a fresh sprouted beard which befitted his profession.

When it came time for the after dinner drinks several Knights ordered tasty desserts. Others opted for a digestif such as the Cockburn and Dry Sack. It's funny because one of the names of the drinks is a slang term for a willy and the other is patois for the scrotum. We are truly boys in every sense of the word.

During the latter part of the dinner the group was obsessing about the lovely lady D---- who was waiting on the table. Given that several of the lads are currently single, it made sense that the strategies for JLM to secure a date with the lass was of utmost priority. The advice ranged from the practical, such as leaving a beetleskin with one's number on it, to the artistic, such as drawing a "good" picture of a vagina. It was impossible to determine who would be the most talented at the latter. JLM ended up giving her his number in the hopes that she would attend a birthday party for HEB that weekend.

Most of the Knights adjourned to the Holy Grail around the corner for an after dinner drink. On the way MPH donned some very elaborate earmuffs that wouldn't muss his admittedly nice hair. The conversation revolved around whether D---- would call JLM. The estimates ranged from the more optimistic 100% to the more pessimistic, the crowd in which your correspondent was a member, 0%.

It was, nonetheless, another fun SteaKnight and all the Knights walked away into the San Francisco night looking forward to future SteaKnights.

HEB (seventh Knight)
STB (sixth Knight)
RMD (sixth Knight)
ATG (sixth Knight)
MPH (sixth Knight)
JB (fifth Knight)
JLM (fourth Knight)

Total bill: $501.31