SteaKnight: Sixth Night

Your correspondent was the first to arrive at Bullshead for the low end affair in West Portal. Our table had been lovingly prepared for us ahead of time and when I mentioned the party of 8 they seemed to be eagerly anticipating our arrival.

Arrive the rest of the Knights did! RMD and MPH were delayed due to a rather ambitious police arrest that barred their route but they eventually wound their way to the gathering. We had a new Knight in our midst, FH, so a hearty welcome was due to the latest member of this illustrious club.

Some of the best tales to emerge every SteaKnight are, much like the Golden Age of superheros, how many of us have to lead double lives to keep our SteaKnight identities and attendance a secret. There were, once again, more tales of deception, white lies, deflection and misdirection in order to attend this special night. MPH appears to be particularly subjected to interrogation but, as always, parries the inquiries effortlessly. Bravo chap!

A discussion of the next night (high end) then ensued. As always, there were many options but the Knights were unable to arrive at a decision. Generally we put ourselves under the able guidance of our founder and he has yet to steer us wrong.

His gift and personal purchases are quite another thing. We quickly moved on to a discussion as to whether a purchase of these would be a good idea. Although not entirely unlike the brilliant invention of Prell (shampoo and conditioner in one!), most of the lads dissuaded HEB from the purchase until such time as we can establish a clubhouse with our SteaKnight dues.

Our waitress soon arrived and we received a bit of foreshadowing as to our order accuracy. The menu was admittedly infused with many options, but it seems that everyone ordered something a bit different and the numerous followups to clarify the order didn't instill faith in anyone that the order would be correct.

Miraculously, when the orders began arriving, all were correct with the exception of ATM's. While he patiently awaited the correction, we discussed the merits of buffalo steaks, which many of the Knights had chosen to order. According to the menu, Native Americans, had they had proper dental care, would've lived to be several hundred years old with their buffalo-centric diet. While some of our more knowledgable Knights took umbrage with this statement the buffalo proved to be tasty despite the questioning of its ability to bestow superhuman longevity.

While ATM's buffalo proved to be long in coming, the conversation certainly continued to be a welcome diversion. It involved but was not limited to:

• ATM told us that robbing a bank is not a good way to get money if you want to keep it. This caused the Knights to discuss all the various ways that one can get caught robbing a bank. There are many.
• Bowl game discussion. Many of the Knights hold football as a mistress to steak and therefore the conversation was heated as to the probable bowl outcomes on the college circuit.
• Classroom pranks became a hot topic at some point. HEB mentioned that the best prank he had ever heard of was turning a classroom into an aquarium through judicious use of saran wrap. A chorus of doubters then responded with the impossibility of this prank. HEB admitted that he hadn't seen this first-hand and it might've been an urban legend.
  
• The subject of letterman's jackets was resurrected from a previous SteaKnight. The idea is to get a jacket in a color corresponding to how one likes their steak prepared. Your humble correspondent would have to opt for a pink jacket due to his proclivity for salmon.

ATM finally got his steak although there was still some doubt as to whether the order was truly correct. Given the fact that the other Knights were almost done with their meals, he opted to plow through what he claimed was definitely not buffalo. Perhaps he can make up for it on the dental care side?

Dessert was in the form of a whimsical gummy (strawberry) steak...a gift to the boys from a mysterious Princess Veal!

The Knights adjourned to the Philosopher's Club where RMD conveyed a jovial tale about a late night in which he descended some of the more ambitious of San Francisco's numerous hills in an office chair as he made his way home. While the Knights didn't have an available office chair, they eventually drifted off into the night at the conclusion of yet another successful night.





Attendees:
HEB (sixth Knight)
STB (fifth Knight)
RMD (fifth Knight)
ATG (fifth Knight)
ATM (third Knight)
MPH (fifth Knight)
JB (fourth Knight)
FH (first Knight)

Total bill: $273.85