SteaKnight: Fifth Night

As always, the lads arrived at the Harris Steakhouse in fits and starts, with your humble correspondent and HEB coming together and ATG standing at the door drenched in a generous amount of sweat, as if he had taken a shortcut through Khe Sanh to get there. The three took a quick party starter at the bar while enjoying the excellent service and the gentle jazz. Soon the rest of the lads arrived and the Fifth Night of SteaKnight was ready to commence.

It didn't take long for the conversation to escalate into a logical tempest of uncommon ferocity that would've made Socrates and Plato proud to have been in attendance. First up for debate was the always pertinent topic of where next month's SteaKnight (a low end night, of course) would be held. Sizzler was at the top of the list until it was struck down by a single statement as if from the great beyond by none other than Johnnie Cochran. It came to be known that Sizzler doesn't serve beer, a major transgression of the unwritten yet well understood code of SteaKnight. As is often the case when intense debate takes place between cunning politicians, the conversation ended in a stalemate with the next location still to be decided.

The group quickly moved on, pondering the noteworthy question of what to do if we all become quite rich someday (not a far fetched possibility by any means) and every steakhouse becomes a low end place due to our extensive means. While not a current issue, it is certainly something that must be considered as we move through our numerous engagements.

As we pondered some of the large of life's unknowns, our waitstaff came for our orders. The service the lads were enjoying was quite good, yet still a bit of a step behind Dimaggio's but entirely acceptable and, were there no high bar of comparison, exemplary. Most opted for a traditional steak (yours truly opted for the wild salmon) but MPH opted for the ultimate high end experience; that of the elusive Kobe style beef at the no small feat price of $75!

While the kitchen staff prepared the orders, the rich tapestry of conversation at SteaKnight ensued. For SteaKnight is not entirely about the ritual of the steak, but also the primitive thirst for male conversation as our forefathers and their fathers before them gathered around teammates, generals, turning points in history and before that simple campfires in the name of male companionship and tale-telling.

In no particular order, the Knights discussed:

• MPH's cooking speed date. The review of the experience was average. It seems the organizers didn't put enough emphasis on meeting a decent number of the lasses in attendance, thereby limiting the abililty to contact ladies of interest after the affair. Nevertheless, we all wish him luck in his pursuit.
• Much to the delight of many Knights, the Borat movie has been released. Several of the Knights in attendance viewed the movie together shortly after release and they all generally agreed that the movie was incredible and grew in hilarity in direct proportion to one's contemplation about the movie.
• RMD has secured the date and location for his stag night which will, of course, take place in June before his planned nuptials in August.
  
• The Knights had a particularly "hot" topic of acceptable ex-girlfriend behavior. We all considered it unacceptable that MPH had a picture of his long-time ex-girlfriend up in his room despite the fact that he is a very talented photographer and it is one of the best pictures that he ever took. Most agreed that inspiring a certain amount of jealousy in an ex is appropriate and doesn't violate the code of a gentleman.
  
• It appears that ATG has a new ladyfriend in his sights and has been making numerous trips to southern California to attend to her. Despite his downplay of the situation, the general consensus was that this is a serious affair and they are a committed pair.
  
• At some point the Knights discussed a very intriguing topic: the difference between a homosexual experience and being homosexual. Of course, the general litmus test would be the recipient of the penetrator (the purse), but there are also various forms of desires and other types of hanky panky that most Knights would consider crossing the proverbial line. Your humble correspondent's extreme fandom for Freddie Mercury never came up but perhaps should have.
• The predinner conversation also involved a thorough critique of the Superman movies. It was generally agreed that 3 wasn't worth a wipe but 1 and 2 were solid. The jury was somewhat out on Brian Singer's latest incarnation of the Man of Steel but the plurality in attendance gave it good words.

Despite the continuing conversation, one can't hold back a good steak with mere words. The meals came with a bit less aplomb than Dimaggio's but still in good time. All considered their steaks excellent and your most loyal correspondent's salmon was true devilry; it was so mouth wateringly delicious yet so well presented the quandry of letting it sit to appeal to the visual sense was directly opposed by the desire to present to the palatte. In time, the palatte won for all.

That is, until MPH felt that his Kobe-style steak was too well done. After several attempts he was able to finally flag down the waitstaff, who stood by our Knight in his assessment of the preparation, telling our good man that it was far too expensive of a steak to be presented in a manner less than expectations. MPH was presented with a new steak gratis; kudos to Harris and the waitstaff in particular for being so genial about the affair.

The meal concluded in less financial disarray than Dimaggio's and some of the Knights tapered off toward Polk for a nightcap. It was another solid high end night and proves that SteaKnight continues to gain momentum and grow better with age.

Those in attendance:
HEB (fifth Knight)

RMD (fourth Knight)

ATG (fourth Knight)

STB (fourth Knight)

JLM (third Knight)

MPH (fourth Knight)